To wait or not to wait??

That is a question floating a lot on blogs, facebook and in mommy social circles as we finish out a school year and plan for the next. I hear alot of moms and dads too debating on when to start thier kids in kindergarten. First off let me say its a very emotionaly charged subject and people have very strong opinions either for or against waiting.

Well for some parents its an easy thing if your kids birthday falls in the guidelines of turning 5 by December first then you send them. Then there are those of us who have kids who turn 5 and will be 5 and a half at the start of the year so we get off easy. But then there are parents who are concerned about thier kids who are not yet 5 but meet the minumum guidline. Which by the way next school year 2012-2013 in California public schools will be changed to November first.

Let me start by saying I personaly pass no judgement on parents who wait or don't wait or don't care at all. I also come from a child development background my AA is in early childhood development and I have a lot of time in kindergarten without being a parent and being a parent.

Kindergarten has changed a lot since I was there 25 years ago there is so much more work in a short period of time and its hard work. Back in my day kindergarten you learned your numbers, letters, shapes and colors and how to socialize and be away from home and how the world works. In the late 90's early 2000's when I was in college I volunteered in kindergarten and it was a bit more work then I had personally remembered. I was told at that time that the no child left behind program was the reason for more academics. But the teacher that I worked with still had free play time and lots of fun little kid activites and there was no phonics and no real writing assignments and no adding going on. Flash forward to today and its so different from even the 15yrs I was gone from school.

First off a lot of kids go to academic pre-schools and come out like little kindergarteners to start with so there is a group of those kids in every class and those kids think school is boring and they need to move to first grade because they already know alot. Then there are the kids who went to a school but just know bare minimums. Then there is a group who have never been to school at all and know nothing.Now put all 3 of these types in a room together and its shocking at times how things go. So one step to know if your child is ready is to see what they already know academicly. I know its not required to start but with the ammount of work and the things they expect out of a short day and 1 year is a lot. If you can start them off with some basic knowledge and some practice you are doing a lot for them already!

The next factor to think of is thier mautrity level. In kindergarten now we have retentions there were 3 in Breven's class this year these kids are starting kindergarten well over the age of 6 and turn 7 during the year. Then we have the late birthday kids like October and November and they just turned 5 and it shows! Some kids are ok and ready at almost 5 and some are not. Some kids are ready to sit still(which is something they have to do regularly) or sit in a desk and not play in the chairs, to listen and write and follow along. If you even 5 year old is not ready for this another year of pre-school to mature them may do them and you some good. It will have them more ready for the tasks at hand when they enter. We had 2 late birthday kids in Breven's class and they were not ready and regularly had to be moved aroudn the room and sat away from eacheother(because they buddied up due to being immature together) Then there is an emotional readiness to think about is your child beyond timid? are they afraid of everything? that extra year will give them time to be more confident for you to help buid up thier confidence. We have a girl who still to this day at the end of they year cries 1-2 days out of the week over the silliest things and gets nervous to the point where she gets sick because she is afraid of the big kids being on the play ground. She is always an emotional mess(and yes she comes from a 2 parent home and has a good home life she is just a mess not anyone else) her mom dosn's even know why.

For me personally it was not a question last year if he was ready Breven had been in a mini kindergarten at pre-k (which by the way was too much and I regret some of the things he missed out on as a preschooler and a kindergartener in such an academic community) He knew how to sit still, how to listen and behave on the carpet, and he was ready academicly. Now I am not saying that academics are a bad thing they have thier place and are warranted but I think the push and all the sight words and hard work with little play at his school did some harm. (more on that in another post)

In some districts they offer what they call a transitional kindergarten program it gives those with earlier birthdays a chance to go to school at the right age and mature a little more before starting real kindergarten. It also gives those who are just not ready a chance to go to school as well and keep within the guidlines of having them in class or a program by age 6(not too sure about the legalities)

By the END of Kindergarten(notice I hilighted end not when they get in the door day 1) your child is expected to be able to count objects to 30, to be able to count out loud to 30(I will tell you they truly strive to have them count to 100) they need to know all thier letters and sounds and how to put sounds together to make words. There is a list of sight words they need to learn as well. They are expected to know thier shapes, and even 3 dimensional shapes. They are taught to read from mini books focusing both on phonetics and sight words. They are also introduced to the concept of adding and subtracting numbers. Also they need to be able to write clearly and copy.

Sounds like a lot?? It is alot and how they accomplish all this is cramming into a short day and then sending home packets of homework and flash cards for you to work with at home. Now if you are a dedicated parent and you work with your child they will do great and excell but the kids who don't well lets just say they don't fair so well.

So what do you do with that extra year at home/school? Work on basics make sure they know what they need to know.Practice writing, coloring, cutting, gluing and any other skills you think need some practice. Let them play! they miss out on so much socialization and playing let them have time to play (I have had to go back and intigrate more play time for Breven as a consequence of sending him to such an academic school to start with he has some social issues) visit places take mini field trips (the library, store tours, farms) whatever real world hands on things you can offer are great. Make things and get creative! arts and crafts are a great way to teach new skills and practice old ones. One thing I always did even with Breven's homework is make learning fun and relate it to where they are now! I still do this now that he is almost in 1st grade.

Its all up to you. You as a parent know your child better then anyone else! You know what they need and what they can do better then any one in this world. If you feel they are ready send them off and let them fly. If not then keep them in pre-school for another year let them mature and grow and learn some more. If you choose to wait I give you a lot of credit you are doing your child a great favor they may not thank you until they are adults but one day they will thank you! and thier success and love of learning will reward you greatly as they move along.